Rumination: How to Address this Common Anxiety Symptom
Over the past few months I’ve had friends, family, and clients bring up having trouble with looping thoughts. We’re all trying to make sense of our own lives and the exceptionally horrific things happening around us.
We’re often ruminating on problems we just can solve, or solve yet.
Or we’re stuck thinking about past situations and what we would do differently.
If you’re neurodivergent, like me, you’re often trying to think through social norms, and how to adapt to a neurotypical world when you have to. Our minds love trying to solve problems and trying to protect us, so all this rumination makes so much sense.
Why we Ruminate
Your ancestors were exceptional ruminators. Those ancestors needed this evolutionary skill in order to stay hypervigilant to danger and to learn how to avoid any threats they escaped to keep them safe in the future. They survived and that’s why you’re here today with a brain that has the amazing capacity to focus on threats to your survival. However, our modern brains continue to be hypervigilant and continue puzzling on our modern problems that aren’t life threatening.
Neurodivergence and Rumination
Neurodivergent nervous systems can have differences in the way they notice threats and reset once a perceived threat is gone. Those of us with ADHD or Autism or AudHD may find themselves being more aware of potential threats. Again, this in itself, is a strong survival skill! Neurodivergent people have had to use rumination to figure out how to fit into a world that wasn’t designed for us, so it can be a very strong tool to have. However, we live in a world where small stresses pop up dozens and dozens of times throughout the day. These can trigger more sensitive nervous systems and set off rumination when it’s not needed.
Strategies for Reducing Rumination
Notice this section isn’t called, “Strategies for ending rumination.” Ruminating is very human. However, if it is interfering with finding peace, being present, and steering you away from what’s most important to you, there are things you can do to tame this survival instinct.
Recognize rumination
Notice when you are ruminating. Often we might notice rumination when it severely overwhelms us. Catching it in advance will give you better chances to manage it. If it’s hard to remember to check in with yourself, set alarms on your phone for every hour or two and check in with your thoughts.
2. Create space from the thoughts
Our brains are constantly producing thoughts through words and images. That’s what brains do. But those words and images aren’t your wise or core self. Instead of your thoughts driving your brain, by separating your ‘self’ from your thoughts, you put that core self in the driver’s seat. This is called ‘cognitive diffusion.’ One way to do this is to say to yourself, “I’m noticing that I’m having thoughts about….” Then allow yourself to notice how this feels. Thank your mind for using its incredible ability to focus on problems.
3. Label and shelf your thoughts
Imagine yourself physically putting these thoughts into a box and giving that box a label. Then say to yourself, “I’m putting these thoughts away for now and giving them a label, ‘Conflict with my boss.’” This helps make that distance you created between the thought and the self further compartmentalized.
4. Get absorbed in the present moment
Check in with each of your senses to become more connected to the present moment. If you need a little more umph to this exercise you can intensify your senses. Here are a few ways to do that:
If your rumination is low energy, sad, stuck feeling:
Hold an ice cube in your hand and feel it melt
Eat something super sour
Tap yourself all over your body
Listen to high energy music
Take a brisk walk around the block
Go to a busy place you’ve never been to and take in this place with all senses
If your rumination is high energy, maybe even angry feeling:
Take a hot shower or bath
Drink something warm
Use a heated or weighted blanket
Give yourself a massage, or go get one if you can
Do some slow stretches
Go to another location where the vibes are soothing
5. Take the power away from that group of thoughts
There are many ways you can reduce the energy that exists in these thoughts. This energy can keep those thoughts coming back and again. To deflate the importance of these thoughts you might sign a silly song about them, create a meme with them in mind, write a limerick, draw a comic, anything fun and silly. We are taking back cringe and making it work for us!
6. Give your brain a 5-minute break
Set a timer and allow yourself to think about something you care about for 5 minutes. Make a quick diagram or sketch that explains it to someone who knows nothing about it. Try to call to mind as many memories as you can. Or try to think through why you care about this so much.
7. Schedule rumination time
If this is something that is a regular habit for you, you might want to try to make friends with this sometimes very annoying skill. Give it 10 minutes every morning to just go for it. Set a timer and ruminate on that thing as hard as you can! (I would suggest not doing this before bed as it might be hard to kick the rumination out when it’s time to sleep.)
8. Externalize in therapy
When thoughts are stuck in our head they can have a lot of power and not a lot of perspective. Bringing thoughts out into the light, and having another caring person witness these thoughts, can give them the space they need to shift or move on. A therapist can help you understand why this might be coming back to your mind over and over again. Perhaps there is something unresolved that really needs tending to.
